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Dirty Habits (0)

15:12 by , under ,


We all relish being apalled now and then. My own taste involves ocasionally exposing my raw nerves to the rantings of selected rightwing nut-the-bricks, and other irritants. If you look to your right you'll see that I include in my Blogwatch the loathsome Atlas Shrugs, placed there so readers can share in my perversions.

In the privacy of my own livingroom I'll shut the curtains and tune in Top Gear for the mildly offensive, punch-him-in-the-face, Jeremy Clarkson - intensifying the frisson by reminding myself that I'm watching the most popular windbag in the country, who my compatriots would vote in as Prime Minister if they had the chance.

For stronger meat I'll turn to Youtube, rubbing my sweaty palms together in anticipation of watching clips of the noxious little squit Bono, leader of the Greatest Rock Band on the Planet. I might even play an illegally downloaded track from his shite new album as accompaniment. (Fellow self-sickeners with a Bono habit can get a decent fix here)

Americans who 'enjoy' such unnatural pleasures are much better served, they have the wildly popular Rush Limbaugh,(catchphrase:'He can talk faster than he can think'). British perverts accustomed to the likes of Sir Jeremy, St Bono, Lord Geldof, Sir Alan Sugar and the like require a health warning. I tell you man, hearing Limbaugh, it's like your dealer forgot to step on your wrap.

Here's a taster. This is some of Limbaugh's plan to save the economy.

1. Every man and woman between 18 and 60 who signs up for unemployment benefits is automatically registered for the military draft...

2. A U.S.-led coalition of the at-least-semi-docile will invade selected oil-producing countries, including Venezuela and Iran... all the other English-speaking provinces whom we subsidize (England, Canada, Australia) – will share in the (sp)oil(s).

3. Disband the United Nations. Liberals, their allies in underdeveloped countries and various Euro-smarties have for decades accused the United States of trying to be the world’s policeman. Unfortunately they were wrong and the world has suffered for it...

4. Deport all undesirables. Not just the wetbacks, anyone who fails a basic English test. If they can’t learn the common tongue that unites our great nation, they need to leave...Our beefed-up military will protect our southern border with orders to shoot to kill. No more amnesty. No more sending people back in busses. You cross illegally, you die. End of story...

5. Legalize all drugs. In times of crisis, necessity trumps morality... By legalizing and taxing marijuana, heroin, methedrine, cocaine, etc. we can turn the dreadful losses of ineffectual enforcement into mega-profits...

Appalling enough for yer? You can get some more of Rush's Economy Plan here



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