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Another Fiery Flying Roll

Copenhagen (0)

12:00 by , under , , , ,


I don’t know whether I read or heard this tale, dreamed it, or simply or made it up myself:

In the mid 1930‘s some German Communist and Jewish intellectual workers began their exile in Copenhagen, including Bertold Brecht, Walter Benjamin, and Gersom Scholem.
Comrade Brecht and Benjamin were good mates, and Benjamin had known and admired Scholem for many years.

One hot Summer day Brecht called on Benjamin, who was living in a tiny room on the second floor of a cheap commercial hotel. A soon as Brecht was through the door of Benjamin’s dingy room he spotted a large book, opened face down on the bedside table. It was a German translation of The Karamazov Brothers, evidently Benjamin’s current reading material.

Brecht was dismayed and disappointed. Ever solicitous of his friend’s far from robust health he had warned Benjamin a number of times of the dangers to the psyche of reading Dostoevsky. Karamazov in particular he’d warned against, as the novel was populated by giant havoc-wreaking monsters of the imagination, and should only be approached after careful preparation, including the kind of rigorous physical exercise expected of boxers before a major bout.

Brecht took up the book, slammed it shut with a loud report, and tossed it through the open window. Benjamin blinked repeatedly in dumbstruck surprise and alarm, but did not protest.

Just as this was happening Gersom Scholem was on the street below, turning into the entrance of Benjamin’s hotel, on his way to call on him. The book, weighing as much as a leg of lamb, caught Scholem square on the side of his head, the great scholar of Jewish mysticism keeled over, and the hard pavement rose up to greet him.

More of this fable, or perhaps dream, I can’t relate.
.....

I reread Dostoevsky’s masterpiece a few weeks ago, and came out of the experience, I presume, relatively unscathed.

Recently I was reading some parts of Joseph Goebbels unpublished dairies and came across an entry relating to Goebbels’ own 1934-5 reading of The Karamazov Brothers. He notes that reading it contributed to his own near ‘nervous collapse’ of that year. Dr Goebbels could imagine himself to be a sensitive soul, having read widely and acquired some culture from his early years as a Catholic scholar. 

Another interesting diary entry deals with the events that came to be called ‘The Night of the Long Knives’, when an incipient 1939 revolt by some members of the two million strong Sturmabteilung, headed by the powerful Ernst Röhm, threatened the integrity of the movement.

Although admiring, even venerating Hitler for some charismatic personal qualities, barely conceivable to posterity, but evidently very tangible to many contemporaries who met him, Goebbels nevertheless often wrote diary entries describing Hitler as indecisive and vacillating, a petit bourgeois dilettante and social climber, more concerned with acquiring expensive cars, hobnobbing with the likes of Fritz Thyssen, and enjoying the company of fluttering film starlets, than improving the lot of German workers, and the largely unemployed and poverty stricken members of the SA - who had done the necessary cosh and fist work of making the Nazi revolution. Goebbels liked to describe himself as a Socialist.

It was considerations like this that had stirred up the SA revolt. The building of the ridiculously ostentatious new party HQ, the Brown House in Munich, the sight of ranking Party leaders cruising around in top of the range Mercedes donated by sympathetic capitalists, even the preposterous uniforms adopted by Göring, must have goaded the hungry and sometimes bootless SA men as they stood on street corners collecting for Winterhilfe.

Goebbels’ dairy notes Hitler’s indecision and vacillation during the SA crisis. Despite being a sadistic dwarf, a pederast and cocaine fiend, Röhm was one of Hitler’s earliest Party comrades, whom he considered a friend.

Eventually action became unavoidable, and Goebbels took a phone call from Hitler in the middle of the night - the SA ringleaders were to be immediately rounded up and arrested. In classic Mafia style Hitler and Goebbels got tooled up, piled into a sleek new Mercedes, and followed by the rest of their death squad, sped off into the night to hunt down their prey.

They found Röhm in a plush hotel room, in bed with an Aryan boy. Don Hitler himself confronted Röhm with a pistol and accused him of treachery. That night sixty or so SA leaders were arrested, and over the next few days shot.

Ever the sentimental schmuck, Hitler could not bring himself to have his pal Röhm whacked. Twice Röhm was left alone in a room with a loaded pistol, but could not be persuaded to do the right thing. In the end he died by means of assisted suicide.

Goebbels describes in his diary the anguish suffered by himself and Hitler over these terrible but necessary events - the regime’s first mass killing. ‘After all’, he concludes, ‘we were not cut out to be murderers.’



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14:19 by , under

 Axolotl, Quirky Pet.

I sometimes took my grandson Snorri into a petshop in town. He was always after a snake. I wouldn't dream of discouraging such a desire. The shop had some very hansome ones. It didn't say on the tank what tribe of snake they were, but they were thin, dark, elegant, and had striking yellow eyes with a haughty stare. I told Snorri when he asked me they were Ladder Snakes. ' “The only snake in the world capable of climbing ladders.”

The shop wanted 75 quid apiece for the snakes. The price sticker was small and too high up for Snorri to make out, so I told him they were 475 quid each.

 'Out of the question', I said sadly. 'Barefaced extortion. We'll go up to Wadsley Common next week and catch a Grass Snake with a cardboard box and a toasting fork.'

 At seven years old Snorri was beginning to develop his first inkling of the Iron Laws of economics; he'd grasped that £475 was a sum of money remote from the wake-time experience of his being-in-the-world. He already knew these things. In a supermarked I once asked him, “What if things didn't have prices?” Of course, his only answer was silence.

 As we were leaving the shop I spotted a tank on the sales counter filled with murky green water, in which were swimming franticly many small newt like creatures about 4 cm long. We both looked more closely at them and they had growing from their heads long fern like fronds, like tribal headdresses. A crudely scrawled notice taped to the tank said:

 AXOLOTL. Quirky mexican reptile. 10£ EACH.

 Snorri wanted one. I wanted one. Snorri suggested getting two, just one on his own might get lonely. I bought one, with the understanding that should the creature begin to show signs of brooding or melancholy I would come back to the shop and get another.

 I asked the spotty youth behind the counter as he was netting our Axolotl what they ate.

 'Little insects, worms, owt like that', he said without moving his face or lips.

We filled a tank, put a water filter in it, some pebbles and rocks were strewn about the bottom, and in went the Axolotl. He sank to the bottom of the tank, steadied himself on some gravel with his fingers, and remained in that position, seeming never to stir, for perhaps a week. Were you to take a magnifying glass, as Snorri and I did, and look carefully at the features about his tiny green and yellow eyes, it was possible to make out a countenance that spoke of abject bafflement. 'He's away with the Water Fairies', I explained to Snorri, 'Enchanted.'

All kinds of appropriately sized insects were dropped alive into the Axolotl tank, it was Summer and there were lots around. I drew the line at any kind of insect butchery to feed the Axolotl, so no tearing off of wings, not even chopping up of worms. Eventually he began to snap up, crocodille fashion, at great speed, wriggling millipedes, little worms and centipedes. When he became larger it was a particularly perverse delight to witness the crunching sound that resulted from the Axolotl flashing to the surface to snatch whole a whirligigging centipede. The Axolotl became larger.

 Obviously, a couple of days after parting with my ten quid for the Axolotl I typed the word into DuckDuckGo. If you want, you could enter the term into the search engine of your choice.

 I learned some interesting things:

Axolotls are the juvenile stage of a Salamander, like a tadpole is to a frog.

 They can remain in this juvenile state for 15 – 25 years.

 They can grow to over 30cm long.

 Some people try to get them to turn into Salamanders, it is very difficult.

 Mexicans farm them to eat. Fried.

 The Summer is long gone, it's Spring and the Axolotl is about 15cm long. Has a new tank twice the size of the old one. During the Winter I had to dig, sometimes by lantern at night, deep into the frozen compost heap for worms. He simply lurks around rocks most of the time. Then suddenly becomes aggressive, trying to leap out of the tank, perhaps to get at you. You wouldn't want to put your hand into his tank.

Snorri has lost interest in the Axolotl's existence, suspects him of being an employee of Satan.

 When the Axolotl was around 8cm long I called back at the shop that had sold him to me. I didn't, of course have him with me, since by that time catching the Axolotl was not unlike chasing a piglet around a pen, or getting hold of a butter coated weasle.

 It was the same youth behind the counter. The tank of young Axolotls was no longer there. I bought some goldfish flakes, not wishing to give the impression that I had come solely to talk about Axolotls.

 'All the Axolotls gone then?' I ventured casually.

 'Aye, went quick them.'

Plop.

 'One you sold me three months back is a foot long now.' I was smiling pleasantly. 'Vicious anall. Bit my little lad's finger as he were droppin in a dead mouse to feed it.'

I'd been standing before the counter for about five minutes, in that time the youth's face had not shown the remotest flicker of expression. His acne, I noticed had become fiercer. Clearly, he had no inkling of the implications of what I'd told him. I pushed on without hope.

 'In another three months that Axolotl will be two feet long. It'll be able to batter it's way out of the tank. It could go for my little lad or eat parts off his three month old sister.'

 'Never eard on owt like that appnin', he mumbled.

 'Manager in?'

 'Gone to Ecclesbeck. E'll be back t lock up at six like.'

 I put one of my bogus business cards on the counter, Klaus Bubblehammer Phd. Pataphysician, and jabbed my finger at it.

 'Tell your gaffer that gentleman there will be making enquiries about the legality of peddling vicious flesh-eating reptiles to seven year old children. Press would have a feeding frenzy tell him.'

 The youth gazed at the card without interest and sort of nodded his head. I could've told him that simple calamine lotion with a few drops of oil of peppermint is the most effective remedy for acne, but chose not to, turned and left.

 The petshop never tried to contact me. They're perhaps waiting for me to make a further move. So far I've let it go. Today the Axolotl has been with us for about eight months, and he, (I presume he's a he), continues to grow. Snorri barely glaces at him. Most nights I go out into the garden with a lantern, or better still under a full moon, and dig up fat worms for him. There don't seem to be many centipedes about.



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